I’ve been doing archival research for my thesis this week in the wonderful International Piano Archives at Maryland and the Howe Collection at the University of Maryland libraries. (That’s my excuse for recently sporadic posting…)

In any case, I hit a jackpot today when the curator dug out a box containing “The Course in Ampico Salesmanship,” a guide from 1925 for aspiring player-piano salesmen. It addresses such issues as “Demonstrating Ampico Supremacy” and “When the Prospect Hesitates.”

Your mark asking you if the Ampico piano sounds mechanical?:

It is unwise to to treat this or any other remark superciliously. Yet it should be quickly dismissed with very little discussion.

But one of my favorite bits (and interesting for that thesis I’m working on) is this list of phrases to help “present our artists as individuals” when prepping the customer who is about to listen to a hand-played piano roll. The point is to prove that the player piano is so good, it can precisely reproduce any of these ostensibly human traits:

“The colorful pedalling of Copeland”

“The poetical beauty of Dohnányi’s playing”

“The feathery lightness of Godowsky’s flying fingers”

“The authoritative distinction of Lhévinne’s style”

“The satisfying straight-forwardness of Mirovitch”

The gorgeous impressionism of Moiseiwitsch”

“The mature musicianship of Münz”

“The spectacular brilliancy of Nyiregyazhi”

“The almost sentimental romanticism of Ornstein”

“The grandeur and authority of Rachmaninoff’s touch”

“The incredible clarity of Rosenthal”

All of these can be yours, for the low low price of $1200 1925 dollars!